Teaching Teenagers about Sexuality

 When and How Should I Teach My Child about Sexuality?

    If you have ever felt uncomfortable or wondered how to teach your children about sexuality and the purpose of intimacy, you are not alone. Every parent experiences discomfort to some extent when trying to teach their children about their bodies. Parents avoid talking about it, talk about it once, or do not touch that topic at all. However, it does not mean that your child is not going to learn about it. The question is, who will teach him? Well, if you do not teach your child, some other source will do it for you. The bad consequence is your child will have a wrong perception of sexuality and its purpose. Pornography is available for anyone who is looking for it. Today, the media is full of illustrations and pictures that were considered inappropriate a few decades ago. In them, bodies are presented with disrespect and do not express human sanctity. As a parent, you can guide your children to the proper resources and teach them. Learn some great tips on this give it a try!

    The very first advice here is – “Always answer your child’s question.” Parents often think that if they ignore the question, the child will just forget about it as they do. Here comes the reality that children will still search for the answer. While you are the first source they turned to, you are not the last one. Children are new to everything and they are more than eager to learn things and find out what they want.

    Now let’s move forward and see how we can teach children of different ages. It is not a secret that teenagers go through puberty and start to have a growing interest in the opposite sex. You cannot rely on the process to teach your child. Some children have fear of the changes that happen to their bodies. For boys, hair grows on the face and underarms, the voice changes, their shoulders get wider, they gain more muscles, pubic hair grows, etc. Whereas girls start to menstruate, their hips get wider, the breast develops, and pubic hair grows. It will be best if parents prepare their children for these changes by talking about them around the age of 11-14. Puberty might start at a later age, of course.

    In “A Parent’s Guide” (1985), by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, you can find specific examples of parents’ teaching experiences. Here are some of the tips from that book

·        Prepare your teenager for the changes that will accompany puberty

·        Teach your teenager that they can control their desires for physical intimacy

·        Help your teenagers have wholesome social experiences

·        Help your teenager see adolescence as a time for developing spiritual power

·        Help them develop healthy habits – showering every day, using deodorants, shaving, wearing tidy clothes, developing good manners, keeping physically active, engaging in sports, helping others, etc.

    You can use these tips to help your teenager to have healthy adolescence and be ready for adulthood. What’s more important, teach your child that the power of procreation should be used only among married couples. It is a result of love, not a reason to love. Teach your teenager that he/she has one of the most sacred responsibilities is to create a new life and that this power should only be talked about and discussed with the highest degree of reverence.

    In this video, you will find more explanations and tips:

    If you watched the video, you probably noticed the following and more:

Before the age of 9

·        Teach what private parts are

·        Use correct vocabulary for all body parts

·        Teach children that touching each other’s private parts are not allowed

·        Teach children to respect their body

·        Answer their questions

·        Use simple books

                 Ages 10-12

1.     Teach them that puberty is normal

2.     Protect them from inappropriate content

3.     Teach them that pornography is not real

Ages 13+

¨     Teach them about pregnancy, safe sex, STDs

¨     Build trust in the relationship

¨     Make sure your teenager feels comfortable to talk to you

¨     Teach about respect and boundaries

¨     Respect your teenager

    Now that you reviewed the tips, evaluate your relationship with your child. The child-parent relationship plays a significant role in teaching/learning. You cannot teach your child if they do not trust you. You have to be their friend. It does not mean that you have to break the limits and remove the rules. It means that your teenager has no doubt about your love and understanding.  Just like every human being, you have been there too. As you were growing, you learned about the topic from various resources. So did your child. However, it is never late to teach or correct the information.
Share how you have taught your child about sexuality.
Thank you!

References

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. (1985, January 1). A Parent's Guide by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. The church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/manual/a-parents-guide/chapter-2?lang=eng.